(Holynd, just hours old)
I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately and I know it's not just because of the hormones.
Well, the hormones are making it difficult to think clearly, but the worries are valid!
Being a mother is hard. I worry everyday if everything I'm doing is going to ruin my baby's lives.
I can't believe how much I love Holynd and I'm starting to feel really guilty about having this baby.
I watch Holynd play, just so content and happy with the way her world is now. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. This baby could come in, as early as, seven and a half weeks and then Holynd's world will be turned completely upside-down!
I worry that she'll feel as though she's done something wrong.
I know she's already wondering what the heck we're doing with her room!
But, maybe she'll love her little sister unconditionally....
I don't know! It stresses me out just to think about it.
I'm not really worried I'll love this baby any less than Holynd. But, I'm worried Holynd won't love her baby sister very much.
SIGH!
In the meantime, 75 days to go! I'm getting very tired. I have no idea how I ever went to school pregnant. I must have been blessed with serious super-hero powers.
PS: My husband is amazing. Mastering skills such as: grocery shopping, bathroom cleaning and re-organization of random closets around the house. There was one incident where he bought Whipping Cream when the list read: Miracle Whip, but I'll let that slide. Love you husband. :) Thanks for letting me slack off and spend hours on end with Holynd watching Spongebob and coloring.
I know that Savana was quite a bit older when my twins were born but for the first few weeks it is very hard for you and them. But I can't tell you now how great it is to watch them play together and see how much they all love eachother! It is the best thing for a mother! So don't worry it will all be great! Hope this comforts you a little!
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