Holynd has decided that she needs to have a platform to stand on while she watches Diego. I'm still not sure why.
I have delegated grocery shopping to Matt for the time being. You may remember me mentioning that grocery shopping was a little difficult with two babies. But last week, it reached a whole new level.
You must understand, I have to have Holynd ride in the "main-cart" part of the cart and Sloanie has to ride on the seat in her carseat. It's a little difficult and takes a lot of talent to stack the groceries so that nothing gets squished by other groceries or Holynd.
The first thing I always get at Wal-mart is fruit. Now, Holynd loves fruit, so I usually have to have Sloanie "hold the fruit". (Meaning the fruit rides up on the seat with Sloanie. Don't worry, she thinks it's really funny to sit with the grapes in her carseat.) After, fruit and other produce, we usually work our way to the back of the store, saving diapers (we ALWAYS need diapers) for last.
This day however, the system completely collapsed. Holynd decided to throw a glass jar of jam out of the cart. I was so distraught when glass flew everywhere and jam spilled all over the floor that my logical thinking skills went completely out the window! Instead of just leaving the mess, finding an employee and reporting the mess. I decided to pick up as much as I could, with my bare hands, and clean it up myself. (HUGE MISTAKE). After I gathered up as much glass and jam as I could with baby wipes. I started stirring my car with my elbows, holding most of the jam mess over Sloane and the grapes. (ANOTHER HUGE MISTAKE!) Luckily, I held on to almost all the glass, but the jam kept oozing between my fingers and onto my baby/grapes. An employee finally spotted me and came to the rescue. (THANK YOU!) She helped me clean up as best as she could, but Sloanie had started to get upset and I knew we had to get shopping done quickly so I could feed her. Poor Sloanie was so sticky and so was the bag of grapes I had put up front with her.
I kicked into hyper-drive-grocery-shopping. I'm sorry to all those who were shopping that same day, because (I admit) I was rude and kept cutting people off with my cart.
At this point, Holynd also got upset and was begging that I open the box of fruit snacks. Deciding that I was beyond desperate I opened the box and gave her a package of fruit snacks. That kept her content for all of five seconds and she decided to spill the box of fruit snacks onto the floor. I was close to my breaking point, so I gathered up the fruit snacks that were close by and kept walking. Yes, I bought a half-full box of fruit snacks.
I finally reached the checkout stand. Sloanie had reached complete meltdown and Holynd had now decided she needed a bag of cheetos. I grabbed the bag of cheetos, asked the cashier to scan them and tore the bag open. Luckily, this kept Holynd happy for the remainder of our shopping trip.
The cashier, proceeded to scan all the groceries and finally got to the sticky bag of grapes. I had tried to clean off the bag of grapes, but it was a lost cause. After scanning the sticky bag of grapes, the cashier then began a 5 minute hand cleaning regime because of the sticky bag. (HELLO! Can you not see my infant screaming her head off?! It's just jam!) After the hand cleaning regime was complete, the cashier then thought it was necessary to call over another employee and state that, "Something has got to be wrong in the produce department, the bags of grapes are sticky or something!".
I. NEARLY. DIED.
I paid and walked out as fast as I could.
I have not been back.
Once the embarrassment finally subsides, I may continue doing the grocery shopping.
