What did you do this week?

Every Sunday in Sunbeams, Matt and I ask the little ones what they did that week?

We get answers like: "I watched Transformers", "I played with my dog", "We went to dinner", "My brother/sister did this"... The list goes on.

It was finally Holynd's turn.

"Holynd what did you do this week?"

I was thinking she'd say that she got to dance on a stage in a pretty costume.

"I got a Popsicle 'cause I pooped a big one."

Awesome.

That's mine on the end...

Holynd is a little bit of a diva. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that before. ;)

When I signed her up for dance classes, I had no doubt that she would enjoy them. But, when recital time neared, I couldn't even begin to predict what she would do on stage.

Maybe she'd cry.

Maybe she would just freeze up and stand there.

Maybe she'd run off the stage.

Maybe she'd just do the dance like the rest of the girls.

Nope, nope, nope and nope.

The day of the recital, she was really making me nervous. She kept telling me that she didn't want anyone to say, "Pretty, beautiful, gorgeous or cute. I just want them to call me fashionable, mommy."

Ok?

So recital time came and Holynd.... Well...

Holynd basically went out there and did whatever she wanted.

Seriously.

She even took a bow once she heard the audience applaud.

The people in front of us kept saying, "Look at that little girl on the end! She's just dancing her little heart out."

I'm so sorry this video is so rough. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't stop shaking.

You can also hear Sloane in the background. She was not happy that sissy was getting all the attention.

After Holynd danced, Matt and I were in a little bit of a daze. We definitely felt proud, but we were slightly shocked. Matt got up to go turn in Holynd's picture packet. He thought I had Sloane with me, I thought he had taken Sloane with him.

When he sat back down, childless, I asked, "Where's Sloane?"

"What do you mean where's Sloane?"

"You took her with you. Where is she?"

"I left her with you!"

"Oh my gosh! She's gone?!"

Yep. We lost one.

Luckily, she was found seconds later, standing outside the auditorium floor.

ZZZZzzzzzzz....

One thing I've noticed about having three little kids is that someone is always hitting some sort of milestone.

***********

Maddox turned seven months old and is now sleeping through the night. Thursday morning I woke up suddenly. I quickly realized that I was really uncomfortable because Maddox hadn't woke up to eat. I woke Matt up and asked him to check on our baby. Maddox was just starting to stir. Later on, I noticed how much more rested I felt. Getting an entire nights sleep definitely does make a difference. I tried to remember the last time I had actually gotten a full nights sleep.

It had to have been before I got pregnant with Sloane. 

I never sleep entirely through the night when I'm pregnant. Even early on in my pregnancies. 

As soon as that + sign shows up on the test I have to wake up several times to use the bathroom and sip water to keep the heartburn at bay. 

I was pregnant with Maddox before Sloane was sleeping through the night.

Thus, I determined that my last complete nights sleep must have been years, yes YEARS ago.

Although there have been several days where I could've fallen asleep standing, the sleepless nights are welcomed because they've meant there's always been a new baby to take care of/look forward to.

I also realized that Sloane was right around seven months old when I found out I was pregnant with Maddox.

You could say that I sort of feel like I'm walking on egg shells lately.

                                     

PS: Have you heard this song? It's my new favorite. And yes, I did find it because of HIMYM.



For My Husband...

Dearest Husband,

I love you so much.

How much?

Enough to post this.






"If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?"

XOXO,

Wife

PS: Remember how I took all three kids with me grocery shopping today? Target, Costco and Walmart! I deserve a trophy... Well, we did all accidentally drink tea, so maybe just a medal.

Hurry!

Sometimes I feel like everyone in Utah has a mini-freak-out when the weather gets warm.

"Hurry Up! Play! The weather is warm and it's only going to last for a minute!"

I know that's what we've been doing. 

Lots of playing outside, park visits, drink-runs with friends (love you Nicole), eating cookies, staying up past bedtime and lovely farmer's tans.

Oh Happy Day.

Someone got a new camera for Mother's Day.

:)

Liebster?

My friend Lindsay was nice enough to recognize my blog for this little award. Liebster (apparently) is German for "up and coming". I'm not sure if my blog is necessarily as "up and coming" as is it "sad and shocking", but I'm still flattered. ;)

There are a couple of rules you have to abide by upon receiving the award. I now get to pick 5 of my favorite blogs (they have to have less then 100 followers) and give them the award also. Then I get to divulge 5 personal things about myself (Aren't you all lucky!?).

Sidenote: I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about private blogs. So, sadly, I decided to leave some of my favorite private bloggers out of the running.

1. My friend Brie. Brie is a super cool mama. She and her wonderful husband are just trying to figure out this parenting thing the best they can too. I love her blog because she isn't afraid to blog when things get tough. She's also really funny and her baby Scarlet is adorable.

2. My friend Alex. She's also a very fun mommy. Plus, how can you not love someone who's husband is raising goats in their backyard?!? (Alex, do you have new chickens yet? Yes? No?)

3.  My friend Mandie. I love her blog because she's kicking butt at raising two of the cutest little boys. I love when she posts pictures of her little boys covered in mud because I know that someday Maddox will be covered in mud too. ;) (Mandie, I couldn't' remember if your blog was private or not....)

4. Follow blogger Stephanie also gets this award. I'm pretty sure Lindsay already gave her the award, but I'm giving it to her again. She's been living in CA and is relocating to Boston. BOSTON! Yes, clear across the country. I can't wait to read about her adventures in the East.

5. And finally, Megan. Megan doesn't blog very often, but I still love pretty much every post that she writes. You can really feel how much she loves being a wife and mom. Whenever I start to feel discouraged, I know I can go to her blog for a little blog "pep talk".

Ok, now I get to scar you all with 5 random facts about me.

1. I'm pigeoned-toed. Have we already discussed this? When Holynd was being monitored for all her complications, the perinatalogist told us that they believe being pigeoned-toed can be hereditary. I always watch my kids closely to see if they will be, but haven't really noticed. (It has to be really obvious to be the "real" thing. Sometimes kids walk funny when they're little, that's normal.) There were a few times where I was made fun of, but I've always secretly loved this little quirk of mine.

2. Matt bought me a hand-vac a few weeks ago and I'm addicted to it. Every house with little kids should have one.

3. I hate scary movies. Well, anything scary in general. I can't even watch previews for scary movies without having a tiny freak out. The Twilight movies were almost too much for me and there's no way I'll ever be able to see the Hunger Games. Speaking of the Hunger Games, no I have not read the books and I don't know if I ever will. I'm just too big of a wuss.

4. Since we are on the topic of books, right now I'm reading a biography on J. Edgar Hoover. It's really interesting. Biographies are my favorite kind of book to read. I just finished one about a woman who was held in a concentration camp for helping Jews escape out of German-occupied Holland. I really do love to read and I really like my Kindle.

5. I'm one of the few women who hate the hospital stay after having a baby. It seems like every one I talk to loves to stay in the hospital. I guess I can understand why, they wait on you and you can have them take the baby whenever you need a nap. I'm just a homebody. I like to be in my own bed. I really don't love to travel, but I try to be a good sport and travel with my husband every once- in-awhile.

So there you go. My Leibster Award.  

Motherhood is not Math

My babies minutes before bedtime.

When I was working on my degree, one of my favorite classes was Econometrics. It was a math class and basically what we were taught to do was take society's unpredictable patterns and use math to (somehow) force a regression and make the solution predictable.

Following?

I loved it. Taking something that was crazy, un-uniform and making it come out organized and predictable.

Sounds like my kind of fun.

One thing that I've always loved about math was how easy it was to fix. If the solution came out wrong, I'd just look back, find my mistake, fix it and then move on. There wasn't any room for anything creative, just straight, immovable answers.

Enter Motherhood.

For me, this is where I lack as a mother. When something goes wrong; when someone refuses to use the potty, hates everything I cook, doesn't want to nurse, cries whenever I put them down, throws tantrums in public, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc! I look back and try to figure out where I went wrong. Did we miss nap time? Was the child hungry? Is their tummy upset? Are they sick? Do their feet hurt? Are they going through a growth spurt?

Sometimes I find the mistake and I learn how to fix it.

But sometimes, the mistake can't be found.

Sometimes things just go amiss and I can't explain why. I don't know how to fix it and I find myself more frustrated then ever. A lot of the time I try to let these experiences slide by without a moments thought. Sometimes I suppress my anguish and frustrations and just hope that they'll go away.

My mom used to tell me that I just like to go and go and go until I finally hit a wall. I shut down. I can't keep my emotions in-check, I'm distracted, I'm frustrated, nothing fixes the situation. I just have to have my come-apart. I basically have to throw my own little temper tantrum.

Yesterday I hit the wall.

So many times the solution to my problem came out wrong and the mistake couldn't be found. So many times, I couldn't figure out why I wasn't able to be Super-mom. I pushed the emotions farther and farther down until it all erupted and I hit the wall. Hard.

I basically spent the night sobbing to my husband. (Poor guy).

I'm writing this all down because I think (and hope) that other moms sometimes hit the wall too. Sometimes, even though we are doing our best, we come up short. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day or patience in the world to make things work out the way we want to.

I've tried to figure out many times what this blog is to me. A way to keep my family updated? A journal? What is it?

It all boils down to the fact that this blog is my place to record my experiences as a mother. I know there have been so many times where I look at other moms and just can't figure out how they constantly keep it all together! I hate that feeling of being a less then perfect mom and so I keep this blog, mainly for my kids, to realize that it's ok. It's ok to hit the wall.

It's ok to not have the math come out right.

Dearest Lindsay, I saw your comment. I'm very flattered at your little shout-out to my humble blog. I'm definitely going to fulfill all the requirements of the award, but since having the above mentioned meltdown I'm going to need one more day to meet said requirements. PS: Your family is just so cute.

Not Much Of A Sweet Tooth.

I was a weird child. My parents used to joke that I could've gone on an all raw food diet and done fine. When I was Holynd's age, my favorite food was a tomato.

Yep. Tomatoes.

I've always loved veggies. All kinds. Probably because my grandpa always made sure there were tons going in his garden. My mom used to tell Matt that I'd only eat five things, one of them being Diet Coke and another being tomatoes. When it comes to sweets, I've always rather had straight sugar, then anything rich or chocolately. People always think I'm weird when I tell them I hate chocolate cake. As I've gotten older (mainly since I married Matt) I've been up for trying a few different things. (Mainly sushi.)

When Holynd started baby food, I started with veggies. She LOVED them. I didn't think it was odd, until I started feeding her fruits and she hated them. Then, I thought she was weird too. She still prefers veggies over anything else. Most days, when I ask her what she wants for lunch, she'll say: Peas. (???) In fact, most days I have to tell her that she can't have anymore veggies until she eats her main dish. (??????)

Sloane was way different. She just wanted to nurse. All the time. She hated the bottle and hated baby food more. It didn't help that she didn't get teeth until she was almost a year old. She loves fruits the most, but is slowly learning to love veggies. This is how I expected most kids to be.

But.

Guess what kind of child Maddox is?

A veggie lover.

I gave him a mushed up banana yesterday for breakfast. You would've thought I had just given him a spoonful of bleach. He gagged and gagged and refused to put another bite into his mouth.

Later on, I tried squash.

He ate the entire bottle.

I don't blame him. I'd take squash over bananas anyday. ;)

Let Down Your Hair

No I didn't make it. I don't make stuff.

Found it on Etsy.

She loves it.

Maddox has to play Eugene.

Sloane's should be here next week.

I anticipate hours and hours of Rapanzel play.

Happy Saturday! Our plans? Rolling sushi with friends. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Poo Please...

This is a story about Sloane's hair.

Not poop.

Are you disappointed?

Yes? No?

Ok.

When Sloane's hair started to curl, I was so excited. A little girl with curls. It was so much fun and, for me, it just symbolized the night-and-day differences between my two little girls.

However, as it grew longer, I found myself completely oblivious on how to take care of it. Every night I would comb it out and it would break-off in chucks. It was so sad to see those curls come out in the comb.

When Holynd started dance class, I noticed that one of the little girls in her class had a head full of curls. Curls like Sloane. I turned to her mom and said, "How do you take care of it? I'm struggling!".

"Stop shampooing"

I wasn't sure what to think after that. Bathtime was my favorite time of the day and I loved to have my girls come out of the tub squeaky clean. Not shampooing just didn't feel as clean for me.

Later on, my sister-in-law said the same thing. "No more shampoo. Just conditioner. Once her hair gets long enough, you'll be able to wash her scalp without washing the curls, but until then, just quit."

So I tried it.

By some miracle, it no longer broke off and her curls became as cute as ever. It still kinda bugged me that I couldn't shampoo, but I got over it. Not having to listen to Sloane cry while I pulled out her hair was worth it.

Fast forward, to a few nights ago. I had come to the determination that Holynd was probably ready for some REAL shampoo and not the baby 3-in-1 stuff. (Yes! I was still using the baby stuff!) I went to the store and found something with princesses on it. When I read the fragrance name, Twisted Swirlberry, I knew I had found something Holynd would LOVE. I bought it.

That night, Holynd was so excited to try her Princess Shampoo. I finished washing her hair and went to put the same old conditioner on Sloane's hair.

"Poo please?" She said.

She looked at me with those big blue eyes and I couldn't say no.

It had been awhile since Sloane's hair had been scrubbed, so I decided to wash it with shampoo. Secretly, I knew it would make me feel better. After all, the word, "detangler", was all over this shampoo bottle - how bad could it be?

Turns out.

Bad.

Sloane's hair had grown a lot since we had stopped using shampoo and trying to comb it out was ten times worse. It didn't matter how much spray-in conditioner I used, I could barely get a comb through it.

It was awful. She cried a lot and we ended up having to take a few breaks during combing. Chunks of it were coming out in the comb. UGH! 

After about 20 minutes of torture, we finally got her hair combed out.

I vowed, no more shampoo.

I still love those curls.

Hurt.

Holynd has been growing.

It started a couple of weeks ago. My friend Nicole noticed that her dress-up dresses were all the sudden a lot shorter. They were no longer hitting the floor when she wore them.

I told myself it was nothing.

Then, her Easter shoes started to look to small.

Again, I tried to not read too far into it.

But then she started to complain of pain. "My legs hurt" she'd say.

This is when I knew there was no denying it.

Holynd was growing again.

Holynd grows like her dad did. In spurts.

I didn't ever have growing pains, so I thought they were just a myth. But, no. They are very real and they hurt.

So, at the end of the day when her legs, feet and ribs ache from growing, I hold her and rock in my grandma's rocking chair. I try my hardest to rub the hurt away.

Watching your kids grow is hard. It's so exciting, and yet devastating at the same time. I love being home with my babies, but everyday they show me that these experiences are here for only a short time. I don't like it.

It hurts.



6

My Mister Man is 6 months old today. Where does the time go?

Maddox is the happiest baby in the world. His sister's adore him, which works out nicely because Matt and I kinda like him too. 

He started eating cereal a few weeks ago. I hate baby food. I was set on waiting until he was over 6 months old, but when I got The Plague, I decided to start him on it until my milk came back. 

Much to my disapproval, he loved it. He'd eat it three times a day if I let him. 

Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean that he is sleeping through the night. I'm pretty sure the person who started this rumor was just playing a cruel joke on mothers everywhere. Matt and I actually noticed that the cereal made him want to nurse more. Weird? Yes. But maybe instead of just getting longer and longer, he'll start to put on a few pounds.

Speaking of sleeping, Pudman is pretty much the best baby in this department. You just put him down and he goes to sleep. We do have to swaddle his arms to his sides or else he'll just lay in there and play with his binkie. He doesn't cry when he wakes up, he just kinda starts yelling and talking. I'm pretty sure he wakes up at 6am every morning, but being the good boy that he is, he just lays in there kicking around until everyone else wakes up. Sometimes he gets himself into some really weird positions in his crib. This also means that he's ready for a nap at 9am.

Maddox loves to wiggle. I fear he's never going to be able to sit up very well because of how much he moves. No wonder he's so skinny. (He was like that when I was pregnant with him. He never stopped moving. Ever.) He still hates tummy time. Hates it! If I put him on his tummy he usually just rolls right back over onto his back. Tummy time is usually the only time we ever hear him cry.

Maddox also loves to grab your face for a big wet kiss. It's pretty much my favorite thing ever.

Maddox is just so easy. I can take him anywhere and don't really have to worry about him getting upset. This is great because his sisters usually always end up upset and demand most of my attention.

For awhile, I thought he hated to be in the car but, after some experimentation, I figured out that he hated to sit by his sisters. I don't blame him. They pick on him relentlessly. We remedied that situation this weekend.

We honored the day today with a long walk. Maddox is loving riding in the stroller. I really need to buy a stroller that sits all three kids, but for now, Holynd puts a doll in her stroller and follows me. This does mean we have to stop and collect zillions of rocks on our way. We also have to stop and name every potato bug or lady bug we pass.

We love you Pudee.