Daddy Daughter Date

Holynd filled up her sticker chart again, which means she got to go on another date with her dad. She really looks forward to hanging out with her daddy.

This time she really really really wanted to go swimming. Luckily, EB had brought her a new swimsuit, so today during Matt's lunch break, they went swimming.

Holynd had a blast, but the swimming did make her extremely tired the rest of the afternoon. I was very ready for bedtime to come around tonight.

She's done really well doing her chores. I've even added a few more that aren't even on the chart. She's been helping me clean up the toys after bathtime, cleaning the playroom and helping me wipe down bathrooms.

As for potty training, it's been going really well. We've had a few tiny accidents, mostly just her waiting too long to go. I don't really have to ask her if she needs to go during the day, unless we have friends over. I'm trying hard not to get too comfortable because you'll never know when a regression might hit. ;) But, I feel like we've finally reached a point where I don't have to worry about potty training every minute of every day. It's a good feeling.

I survived.

I'm still not sure what it was.

I had been calling it a flu, but I'm not sure if "flu" is a harsh enough term.

I've never been sick with anything that actually made survival questionable, but this did.

I think I'll call it a plague. Yes, a plague.

This plague started Sunday night and continued all the way until Friday.

Monday I was incoherent. Matt stayed home from work most of the day. I remember crying several times, but I don't remember much else. My fever went up to 104 degrees. I never coughed, had a runny nose, sneezed, or anything "flu" like. I did feel like I had been hit by a truck. Everything ached. Everything. My ears just kept ringing. It made sleep impossible.

Tuesday and Wednesday the aches were still there, but manageable. My fever was coming down with Tylenol, but every time the fever broke, I found myself covered in sweat. I spent most of the day in bed or in a cold shower.

Thursday I willed myself to at least do some laundry. It was the first time that every single towel in the house was dirty. For me, this was next to complete and total failure.

Friday I finally felt somewhat normal. The headache was still there to remind me of the horrible week I had been through, but that was all. I made lasagna for dinner and screwed up. Luckily, Nicole was there to talk me down and, in the end, it turned out ok.

Saturday I left the house for the first time since Easter.

Oh Easter. You were amazing, until I got sick, then you were a bummer. My kids were still the cutest though. :)

For now, I am still trying to play catch-up from last week. I cleaned my house from top-to-bottom today and tonight I will help Matt fold 6 baskets of laundry. I did 9 loads of laundry today. 9! It's amazing how much laundry 3 little people make in a week. (My husband folds laundry. I know. He's pretty much awesome.)

I hope everyone out there is healthy and plague-free.

In Remembrance.

Today would've been my grandpa's birthday. For some reason, a few weeks ago, I told my mom I wanted to go up and put flowers on my grandma and grandpa's grave. I hadn't been up there since the funeral and I felt the need to go up.

I did not, however, want to go near their house.

I have some very fond memories of that little house. Memories of sleigh riding, eating carrots straight out of the garden, the time my grandpa picked a huge tomato and then saved it-just for me, playing in the tree house my grandpa built, running through the laundry after my grandma had hung it out on the clothes line, feeding chickens, the day Tevyn shot Tierra in the head with a wrist rocket, riding the horse.... The list goes on.

In my mind, I wanted to believe all of that was still there. The whole experience was still living on, just, for some reason, we didn't visit anymore. I didn't want to pull in and have Holynd ask to see the chickens. I just didn't want to go. I wasn't ready to let that go.

When we drove out of the cemetery, my mom told me to at least drive-by. "You wanted a wind chime" she said. When we moved into this house, I was awake one night feeding Maddox, when I noticed that lady next door had a wind chime outside. The sound reminded me of sleeping over at my grandma's and listening to the wind chimes she had hanging outside. I agreed, knowing that the house was locked up and I wouldn't have to go inside. We pulled in and I went around front to get my wind chime. I found one and came back around. At this point, my mom had noticed that the kitchen door had been left unlocked and she wanted to go in and make sure everything was ok. I didn't want to go in, but nature left me no choice. I had to pee and I knew Holynd would too.

My mom went outside to get Holynd and I was alone in the house. I left as soon as I could because I could feel the emotions starting to rise. Once I was outside and my mom was helping Holynd use the bathroom, I couldn't help it.

I started to cry.

Grandma and grandpa's house was no more and I was sad.

Holynd was buckled back in the car and we pulled away. We didn't get far before my mom realized that she had left her phone in the bathroom.

The house had been locked.

Lovely.

My mom and I quickly started calling my aunt to see if she could come let us in. No answer. We went to her house. No answer.

Oh dear.

We decided to set out and see if we could find a hidden key. No luck.

Finally, I found a screen door that the screen was loose on. I was able to push it lose and unlock the door.

We were in. (Maybe I need to take up a life of crime.)

The phone was recovered and we were, once again, on our way.

In the end, I'm kind of glad the whole phone situation happened. I left remembering how my mom and I laughed while we tried to climb into windows, pry locks open and break-in to the grandma's house, instead of just leaving sad.

I'm sure some laughs were had in heaven today.

A Talk That Was Just For Me.

Pictures from our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.

Sloane was the best little egg finder. She surprised us by loving the hunt so much. She's so shy that we just assumed that she would want to be held the whole time. I'm starting to think she *might* be coming out of her shell. ;)

Holynd with her findings.

Pudee wasn't sure that he loved the wind.

Those curls make your heart skip a beat don't they?!

*********

I've been reluctant to write these feelings down, but I feel prompted to do so. I'm hoping that my willingness to journal this experience will help my kids one day. Remember, this is MY experience on the matter and no one elses. I'm still learning just as everyone else is.

Conference this year was wonderful. I loved being able to stay in my jammies and cuddle with my babies while being taught so many amazing things.

This conference, however, kept bringing me back to a talk that was given last conference. This talk meant the world to me because it answered a lot of doubts I had been having.

Having three kids so close together sometimes brings about a lot of judgement. I get sad when I hear comments like, "I would never do that", "I can't imagine how crazy life must get", "Did you actually want to have them that way???" or my personal favorite "Which ones were accidents?"

Matt and I often joke about how our children "just kept showing up". But I think that's our way of saying that we've been shown over and over how our plan and the Lord's plan can be completely different, but the Lord's plan always seems to be the better plan. Way better.

I know that if people are saying these things to my face that they're saying crazier things behind my back. I know without a doubt people think that my kids will "suffer" having siblings so close or that Matt and I must "regret" not having more time for other things.

Nope, nope, NOPE!

I'm hear to tell you that having children is no "accident". When and how our kids get here is divinely inspired. For some reason, the Lord knew that this was the way Matt and I needed to raise our kids. I do not take that lightly. I don't think having kids should be taken lightly at all. It's a sacred opportunity, not a sacrifice.

I get sad when people judge others for the way they've decided to bring about their family. First of all, we don't always everything that's going on. Second of all, there's not one right way to parent. It's not ok to "celebrate" waiting to have kids in front of those that felt the need to start a family right away. It's also not ok to judge those who might have personal reasons for waiting. I just think we all need to be supportive of one another. (I'm guilty on all these accounts, by the way. As I've said before, I'm FAR from perfect. In fact, most of the time, it's safe to say that I have no idea what I'm doing!)

Elder Anderson gave a talk last conference that really helped me realize that the way my children came to earth was no "accident".

"When a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father's plan to bring children to earth. The Lord said, 'This is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life and man.' Before immortality, there must be mortality.

The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father's plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture read, 'And God blessed them and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." In our day prophets and apostles have declared, "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.

This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions-decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith"

-Neil L. Anderson, "Children". Emphasis added.

I heard this talk when I was hugely pregnant with Maddox. Sloane was only 15 months old and still very much a baby. I worried about her every day throughout Maddox's pregnancy. This talk helped me realize that Maddox's surprise appearance on this earth was not an "accident". It was a truly inspired situation. Maddox needed to be here and Sloane needed to be an older sibling. I've went back to this talk many many many many many times when I feel the judgements of others bearing down on me. I always come away with an overwhelming feeling that our children our gifts. They're blessings. They're the greatest blessing that the Lord will ever give us.

For me, the "great faith" came after I found out that we were expecting a baby. I've always prayed intently to be shown that these children needed to be here and I'm given answers to those prayers everyday. Everyday my children show me the truthfulness of the gospel and the sacred blessings that they are.

That can not be an "accident".

When At G-Ma's & G-Pa's

We eat homemade Butter Pecan cupcakes.



And feed frosting to Pudee


We also ride around in Go-Carts.

(Sloane gets really excited when sissy goes by. "Yeah!! Sissy!!"

(Motorcycle helmets must be worn, as well as old Halloween costumes.)

Sometimes we look through old pictures.

Nope. That's not me. It's my sister Tierra. Holynd thought she was looking at a picture of herself.