A Talk That Was Just For Me.

Pictures from our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.

Sloane was the best little egg finder. She surprised us by loving the hunt so much. She's so shy that we just assumed that she would want to be held the whole time. I'm starting to think she *might* be coming out of her shell. ;)

Holynd with her findings.

Pudee wasn't sure that he loved the wind.

Those curls make your heart skip a beat don't they?!

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I've been reluctant to write these feelings down, but I feel prompted to do so. I'm hoping that my willingness to journal this experience will help my kids one day. Remember, this is MY experience on the matter and no one elses. I'm still learning just as everyone else is.

Conference this year was wonderful. I loved being able to stay in my jammies and cuddle with my babies while being taught so many amazing things.

This conference, however, kept bringing me back to a talk that was given last conference. This talk meant the world to me because it answered a lot of doubts I had been having.

Having three kids so close together sometimes brings about a lot of judgement. I get sad when I hear comments like, "I would never do that", "I can't imagine how crazy life must get", "Did you actually want to have them that way???" or my personal favorite "Which ones were accidents?"

Matt and I often joke about how our children "just kept showing up". But I think that's our way of saying that we've been shown over and over how our plan and the Lord's plan can be completely different, but the Lord's plan always seems to be the better plan. Way better.

I know that if people are saying these things to my face that they're saying crazier things behind my back. I know without a doubt people think that my kids will "suffer" having siblings so close or that Matt and I must "regret" not having more time for other things.

Nope, nope, NOPE!

I'm hear to tell you that having children is no "accident". When and how our kids get here is divinely inspired. For some reason, the Lord knew that this was the way Matt and I needed to raise our kids. I do not take that lightly. I don't think having kids should be taken lightly at all. It's a sacred opportunity, not a sacrifice.

I get sad when people judge others for the way they've decided to bring about their family. First of all, we don't always everything that's going on. Second of all, there's not one right way to parent. It's not ok to "celebrate" waiting to have kids in front of those that felt the need to start a family right away. It's also not ok to judge those who might have personal reasons for waiting. I just think we all need to be supportive of one another. (I'm guilty on all these accounts, by the way. As I've said before, I'm FAR from perfect. In fact, most of the time, it's safe to say that I have no idea what I'm doing!)

Elder Anderson gave a talk last conference that really helped me realize that the way my children came to earth was no "accident".

"When a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father's plan to bring children to earth. The Lord said, 'This is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life and man.' Before immortality, there must be mortality.

The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father's plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture read, 'And God blessed them and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." In our day prophets and apostles have declared, "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.

This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions-decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith"

-Neil L. Anderson, "Children". Emphasis added.

I heard this talk when I was hugely pregnant with Maddox. Sloane was only 15 months old and still very much a baby. I worried about her every day throughout Maddox's pregnancy. This talk helped me realize that Maddox's surprise appearance on this earth was not an "accident". It was a truly inspired situation. Maddox needed to be here and Sloane needed to be an older sibling. I've went back to this talk many many many many many times when I feel the judgements of others bearing down on me. I always come away with an overwhelming feeling that our children our gifts. They're blessings. They're the greatest blessing that the Lord will ever give us.

For me, the "great faith" came after I found out that we were expecting a baby. I've always prayed intently to be shown that these children needed to be here and I'm given answers to those prayers everyday. Everyday my children show me the truthfulness of the gospel and the sacred blessings that they are.

That can not be an "accident".