Never enough...

 

 

One thing I know for certain about motherhood is that there is never enough.

 

It's completely impossible for me to give everyone everything they need in a 24-hours time.

 

I'm not using the word impossible lightly.

 

It won't ever happen because it can't happen.

 

The list of responsibilities I give myself is overwhelming.

 

I go to bed at night and worry about all that I didn't do that day.

 

There's never enough money.

 

Never enough time for Holynd.

 

Never enough time for Sloane.

 

Never enough time for Maddox.

 

Never enough time for Matt.

 

Never enough time spent together.  

 

Never enough time for cooking.

 

Never enough time for cleaning.

 

Never enough play.

 

Never enough disipline.

 

Never enough activities outside the home.

 

Never enough activities inside the home.

 

Never enough prayers.

 

Never enough reading.

 

Never enough teaching.

 

Believe me when I say, this list could go on forever.

 

I feel like most of my nights are spent worrying about how I constantly come up short.

 

I realized the other day what my one true worry is:

 

I wasn't a perfect mom today.

 

That's horrible. I hate that statement.

 

I can't live life beating myself up because what is that going to teach my kids?

 

I know my kids are going to come up short. It pains me to think that they'll feel what I feel when I go to bed at night.

 

Somehow, I've got to let somethings go.

 

For my kids.