It's really happening..

 

I knew when it was supposed to happen before Maddox was even born.

 

 

I was a few weeks away from having Maddox and I was trying to rest during naptime. I was praying for a little bit of strength to get me through for the rest of the day when the thought came,

 

"One year. You have one year to rest."

 

And that was it.

 

From that point on, I knew exactly when our next baby was supposed to come.

 

I also knew that this one wouldn't be a surprise.

 

This one would be 100% our fault.

 

So the year went on.

 

August came and I started to feel very strongly that I needed to quit nursing Maddox. He seemed to feel the same because he lost interest. By September, we were weaning. It was a bittersweet experience, but in the back of my mind I knew why it was happening.

 

Once we were done with nursing, I called my doctor.

 

I had my IUD taken out on October 4th.

 

I went home and started reading up on trying to get pregnant. That seems silly to write because we've had three children, but this is the first time we had actually planned a pregnancy and I wanted a little information. All that did was give me a huge anxiety attack. It's a miracle anyone is ever born! The timing and logistics were so beyond overwhelming.

 

I secretly decided that if it didn't happen right away, I was done. This was just way too much stress.

 

The afternoon of Maddox's first birthday, I sat in the bathroom staring at a faint positive pregnancy test.

 

The next day the test was definitely positive.

 

I was elated, but kinda weirded out. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. My past experiences were so much different from this one. Looking back, I was in denial. I didn't believe it.

 

Several more tests were taken, all positive.

 

Two days passed and I finally decided to tell Matt.

 

Yes, I waited 2 days to even tell him what was going on, but it took me that long to even believe it was happening.

 

It took me another 11ish weeks to even call the doctor. It was really odd not to be brought in right away for an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. It was really weird getting a due date over the phone.

 

"July 13th"

 

But when we finally did get an ultrasound at 20 weeks...

 

There was no mistaking that another baby boy was coming to our home.

 

 

But, more on that later.