Admitted

I was being admitted before the kidney infection was even confirmed.

The on-call doctor was very nice and comforting, but he was also direct when he said,

"We need to keep you pregnant. Not for the baby's sake, but for your sake".

It was decided that delivering the baby would mean weeks and weeks of recovery for me. I was 36 weeks along. Even though it wasn't quite full term, Bennett was a good size and would probably thrive if he was born. However, I was really struggling. It was getting scary. If I was to deliver, a vaginal delivery wasn't even an option. I would be having an emergency C-section if it came down to it.

The biggest concern was the fever. The things it was doing to Bennett's heart rate and mine weren't good. The problem: when you're pregnant there are very few things they can give you for a fever. Up until this point in my life, I had no idea a fever could make you feel so horrible. The headache it gave me made it hard to open my eyes and I could actually hear my head throbbing.

I know the Lord had a hand in what followed because as soon as I got to my room, I took a turn for the worse. I haven't stopped thanking him for making sure I was at the hospital before it got really bad.

The Tylenol I was given while I was being admitted didn't even touch the fever. I was shaking uncontrollably - to me, it felt like I was freezing to death. They finally decided to put me in an air- conditioned gown. This was a plastic gown that had vents all over it. They plugged a hose into the wall and it would blow cold air all over my body. To a person that feels like their freezing - that pretty much sounds like a death sentence. BUT, they didn't stop there. The nurses then filled surgical gloves with ice and placed them under my armpits and on my chest.

I couldn't stop crying. I just sobbed. Every nurse that came in my room just apologized profusely. I really wanted to be tough. I was willing to go through anything to keep Bennett safe, but the tears just kept coming.

Two hours after I was admitted, they called the on-call doctor back in. The fever hadn't budged and I was a wreck. Bennett's heart rate and mine were both still climbing. He finally ordered an ultrasound and told me I might be sent up to ICU.

I could NOT believe this was happening. I still can't believe it did happen. How did I ever end up so sick!?

They took the ice packs off and shut off the air. I couldn't help but be slightly relieved. I was put back into a wheelchair and wheeled down to Radiology. The ultrasound they did wasn't for Bennett. They wanted to get a good look at both my kidneys. If there was any sort of abscess on my kidneys, I was ICU bound.

In all honestly, I don't remember a lot about the ultrasound. I don't remember who did the ultrasound or what was even said while we were in the room. The one thing I do remember is Matt's face. We've had ups and downs in our marriage. There have been a few worrisome times, but (until the kidney infection) I've never seen Matt look genuinely worried. Matt has always had an ongoing unstoppable faith that things will work out, but I didn't see that look of peace in his eyes this time. He was worried. Really worried.

That was truly terrifying.

I have no memory of being wheeled back into my room. I have absolutely no idea how those nurses got me back into my bed. I do remember that when I got back, they decided to give me some pain meds to, hopefully, get me to relax and sleep. Things after that got even hazier. I remember watching Matt and realizing how late it was. Somehow it had gotten to be 3am.

For some reason, I remember the prompting vividly. It was as if someone had said it directly in my ear. I needed a blessing and I needed my dad here for it. I told Matt what I wanted and even though he looked a little nervous about calling at 3am, he called my dad.

The next thing I knew, it was daylight.